Chennai-based clinical psychologist Shruti Mohan on why we react the way we do—and how to respond better
Emotional regulation is central to how we navigate daily life, relationships, and stress. Yet, for many, managing intense emotions such as anger, frustration, or overwhelm can feel challenging. In this expert Q&A, Mohan explains why emotional responses vary from person to person and shares practical, evidence-based strategies to build greater emotional control.
Why do some people struggle to control emotional reactions more than others?
Differences in emotional regulation are influenced by multiple factors, including:
- Early relational experiences
- Learned coping patterns
- Temperamental sensitivity
- Current stress load
These factors shape how individuals process and respond to emotional triggers.
What are simple techniques to manage anger or overwhelm in the moment?
In-the-moment regulation strategies should focus on reducing physiological arousal and increasing cognitive space:
- Controlled breathing to stabilise autonomic activation
- Brief disengagement from the triggering context
- Labelling the emotional state (e.g., “I am experiencing anger”) to enhance awareness
- Grounding attention in immediate sensory input
These techniques are not about suppressing emotions, but about modulating their intensity to enable more deliberate responses.
Can emotional regulation be learned at any age?
Emotional regulation can be developed across the lifespan. It involves:
- Increasing emotional awareness
- Expanding coping repertoires
- Practising response modulation
With consistent effort, individuals can strengthen their ability to manage emotions effectively at any stage of life.
How does poor emotional regulation affect relationships?
Difficulties in emotional regulation can affect relationships through:
- Increased reactivity during conflict
- Misinterpretation of interpersonal cues
- Difficulty communicating needs effectively
- Strain due to unpredictable emotional responses
Over time, this may lead to cycles of conflict, withdrawal, or reduced relational stability.
When should someone seek professional help for emotional outbursts?
Professional support may be beneficial when:
- Emotional reactions are frequent, intense, or disproportionate to the context
- There is difficulty returning to baseline after emotional activation
- Interpersonal, occupational, or daily functioning is affected
- There is reliance on maladaptive coping strategies such as avoidance behaviours (e.g. withdrawing from responsibilities or difficult situations), substance use as a way to manage emotional states, emotional suppression (repeatedly pushing feelings away rather than processing them), impulsive behaviours (e.g. anger outbursts, reactive decisions), over-engagement in distractions (e.g. prolonged scrolling or disengagement from tasks).
Seeking support can help individuals develop healthier and more sustainable ways of managing emotions.
